Are you inspired enough to seek the wisdom to change the way you live your life?
In the Self-Care Goddess Podcast episode #69, Viktoria Kalenteris talks about Tantra for men which focuses on embodied practices, knowledge and wisdom of self-discovery, awakening, healing, and celebration. Using the breath, movement and connection we can start shedding old patterns and tendencies to bring ourselves into a place of authenticity and remember who we truly are. The following information are just a few of the golden nuggets from our insightful conversation
This blog post summarizes just a few of the golden nuggets from our insightful conversation, for the full details listen to the entire episode here or on your favourite podcast platform by searching for the Self-Care Goddess podcast.
What is Tantra for men?
Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means to weave or integrate. 3 things that we integrate are:
- The form: which is the body.
- The light: which is the mind.
- The energy: created with breath, movement and visualization.
When these 3 come together, they create a divine connection to the fabric of universal life. Most men want connection and somebody to have fun with and enjoy life. Some of them want to have family. Men do not know their body well, because porn has been their teacher. Porn gives an unrealistic picture of too much sexual expression. Letting go of men’s body fluids means releasing a personal energy and lifeforce which when overdone depletes other things like the immune system, ability to think, creativity, connection, awareness and vitality.
If you would like to know about ‘Tantra Self-Care For Women’, I invite you to listen to episode #57, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Tantra Self-Care For Men
Here are some amazing, practical Self-Care, tantra practices for men:
- Meditation: Whether you’ve practiced meditation before or not, this simply means taking a moment to be aware of your surroundings. Use your senses to absorb everything around you. Consciously slow down the wandering thoughts in the male brain, by going into meditative states. Choose one meditation practice (among the many options) that works for you. It could be walking meditation, being out in nature, focus/staring at a candlelight or meditating with sounds. Meditation helps quiet suffering. If we stay too long in the past or in the future, then we are creating our own suffering.
- Self-Awareness in the shower: Take your time in the shower/bath, don’t just scrub yourself and get out quickly. Viktoria recommends to feel the water hitting the skin and feel the temperature and scent of your soap or shampoo. Pay attention to where your fingers are, massaging your head and scrubbing your body. Meticulously be aware of the curves, softness, strength and boldness of all different parts in the body and tune into your system by slowing things down. This is a wonderful beginners tantra practice everyone can do. Most men are in and out very quickly, which can be representative of what they’re like in the bedroom!
- Self-Awareness with food: Mindful eating means paying attention to what you see on your plate and connecting with it through the five senses. It includes the intention of the food and gratitude for the food and nutrients. Eat right by taking time to chew and appreciate the texture allowing the morsels to slowly break down and digest.
- Dancing: Viktoria recommends to take a tango lesson because in tango you get to lead as a man in masculine energy if you decide you want to take that role. If you don’t want to lead all the time, tango allows to take a break and let somebody else do the leading while you can take on the feminine following role.
- Separate orgasm from ejaculation: This is one of the key practices in Tantra. It is encouraged to learn how to separate orgasm from ejaculation because gentlemen usually last longer. From the tantric lens, it’s not just the long period of time that you’re having sex, it’s the reason why you’re having sex (the intention). If men are going to be hard as a rock for a long period of time, that means that they become a ‘indestructible diamond scepter’ – a healing rod for the female body. Now, sex becomes sacred sexuality with that connection with the partner. When you’re not ejaculating it will be a version of your orgasm. Sometimes the body shutters, sometimes it’ll feel like electricity flowing through your system because you feel that effervescence or sometimes you may feel light. This can be done with breathwork exercises during sexual intercourse.
- Edging: Edging means that you bring yourself close to the brink of letting everything out of your body, but you’re going to pull it back. 2 things will happen: Be aware of the body and where it’s at. Be aware of how the body is functioning. When the fluids are coming up, it looks like it’s going to come out and you pull it back, resetting yourself. The whole nervous system tenses up, and contracts. Edging helps to relax the system and help you learn how to take control.
- Slow things down: Men generally tend to want to have control. The only way to have control is when they slow things down. Elongate the breath, the exhale or both. The best way to slow things down is also through sound because as soon as you add sound, there is a frequency change enabling men to slow things down taking back control faster. Intuitive involuntary breath work involves vocalizing of the exhale.
- Coordinate with the cycle: Most mammals on Earth procreate at certain times of the year. We humans can procreate every month and make decisions to mate at specific times. It is important to pay attention to the female partners and when they ovulate because their body is geared to get into action around ovulation. When gentlemen choose to have a female partner they must know how they can coordinate with the menstrual cycle. If we had sex every single day, it would be super boring. Which is what most women and men find at certain points. They either feel complacency, entitlement or resentment. The female partner would be much more playful, open, assertive, aggressive in the bedroom around ovulation.
- Sexual Energy: Let go of the fluids in the body every four to six weeks, depending on age and constitution. We can figure this out as we go along, making sure “the pipes are still working” because when you orgasm without ejaculating, it means the fluid in the body gets reabsorbed into the system. Overcome porn or sex addiction to extend the lifeforce energy because men only have a certain amount per lifetime of sexual energy so you have to decide how to manage that.
Do you know “How To Harness YOUR Feminine Energy & Universal Laws”? Read my blog post here.
Sensual and Sexual Practices
Tantra is not only in the bedroom. Tantra is a lifestyle branch like yoga that includes the pelvic region and sexual practices. Meditation and the shower practice are sensate practices because it uses your senses to connect at that moment in time and can be implemented in everyday life. Men learn how to expand this sensual energy to move the sexual energy, harness it and be able to send it to different parts of the body to heal and rebalance. This is key because sexual energy is an amplifying energy. Sexual practices are zoned into the center of our sex. If we are more tuned into our sexual energy, it means that creative life force energy is blossoming. If we don’t connect to our sexual energy, then we are shutting ourself down, dampening correlation. Overdoing the sexual energy will stifle the creativity and satisfaction. The aim is balance and harmony. Intention is a key word to all tantric practices. Ask yourself:
Try out my amazing recipe “Creamy Sweet Potato Gravy”.
“What is my intention with my sexual practice?”
“What is my intention with my sensual practice?”
“What is my intention with my meditation practice?”
The lingam, testicles, vagina, vulva, anus, prostate gland, g spot and the female prostate are all areas of sexual energy. Internally, the body has different areas that are reflective of our internal organs. There is a reflexology map that identifies, how far your lingam goes into a vagina and what it correlates to for an internal organ. For example, if the tip of the penis/ lingam is inside the body 50%, then it’s associating with the spleen including the pancreas. If it’s 35% in the body, then it includes the lungs, circulation, respiratory system etc. All of this is mapped out from Chinese traditional Tantra in such a way that if we work a certain way, we can create healing between self and partner because the map goes both ways.
I invite you to listen to my awe-inspiring podcast “How to Master Your Mindset & Create Your Dream Life Today?” on The Self-Care Goddess podcast episode #5, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast
For free guided meditation videos and Breathwork demonstrations subscribe to my YouTube channel.
Take Home Message
The aim of tantric practices is how to become holistic in your sexuality making it sacred and deeply connective. When men embrace these practices, they will notice that the time spent with their partner is much more profound and special. I invite you to notice your intention in your everyday life and interactions. Instead of just going through the motions setting the intention is important for exploring your personal identity. This pleasure-centric practice encourages Self-Exploration and mindfulness similar to yoga/ meditation and can have benefits both in and out of the bedroom.
Connect with Viktoria:
Listen to the full podcast episode #69 on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
I look forward to connecting with you and learning more about your story and your health and wellness goals. Schedule a FREE introduction call here.