Tantra Self-Care For Women￼￼
Do you know what Tantra can give you?
Tantra is a lifestyle and an approach to living life. According to Viktoria Kalenteris in the Selfcare Goddess Podcast episode #57, Tantra can help you quench the craving to open your heart, quiet your mind, awaken your senses, ignite your energy and break through your blocks to bliss within a sacred safe space where you’re encouraged to honor yourself and participate at whatever level is right for you. Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means to “weave or to integrate”. The 3 things that we integrate or weave are:
- Our mind
- Our body
- Our energy
The following information are just a few of the golden nuggets from our insightful conversation. To learn about the Tantra pathway to healing and the foundational practices of self-discovery and self-inquiry listen to the entire episode on here.
How Can You Connect To Yourself Fully And Authentically?
Viktoria argues that when we get to know ourself well then, we are able to listen to our body when things don’t feel right, intuitively. In terms of self-awareness and alignment to figure out who we truly are, Victoria shares an “Internal Compass” which consists of four areas:
- Physical Ability: How our body feels? Do you have any aches or pain?
- Mental State: Any issues going on in our mental state – Is it foggy? Is it running hyper speed? Is it at a nice equilibrium at balance that we’re looking for?
- Heart-Space: Check in with our heart-space. What’s going on emotionally? Are you feeling really sad and melancholy? Do you feel numb and disconnected or engaged and bright? Does your heart feel open and happy?
- Energy: A lot of people don’t pay attention to energy, because they’re not sensing it. Are you a couch potato? Are you super hyper and moving around doing things? Or is your body feeling open, expansive and relaxed surrendering to what is happening in the moment? Or is it closed and contracted?
In all these four areas, we need to check in with ourself between 1 and 10. 10 is the desired balance where everything is good and at great equilibrium. If our numbers are lower than 10, ask ‘What can I do right now to move myself towards a 10?’
We may not get to the 10 but what is important is that we are moving towards the 10.
I invite you to listen to Allan Miller on the Self-Care Goddess podcast episode #32 titled “Self-Awareness: The Key To YOUR Wellbeing”, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Why Is Intimacy Important?
According to Viktoria, the word intimacy means “into-me-see” first, which means we have to connect with ourselves and “know who I am”, before anything else. There are 5 pillars of Intimacy:
- Self-awareness. It is important to be accountable and take ownership without judgment or critique, to realize why we are doing what we do.
- Authenticity. To connect with curiosity with self and loved ones in life. This refers to authentic connection with self and others.
- Release. To release past hurts, tendencies, conditioning patterns, and limiting beliefs.
- Curiosity. Look at new possibilities of connection and growth.
- Live mindfully. Mindfully engage with life’s experiences and be open to what it reveals to you about yourself. Like I always say things don’t happen TO you, they happen FOR you!
Would you like to live a joyful life? Listen to episode #37 “3 Ways For Joyous Living”, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Anti-Tantric Practice – Eye Gazing
We can apply tantric practices to everyday life such as eye gazing. In this practice all we have to do is change how we look at a person. The left eye is about connection with another human being when we’re in close proximity. And the right eye is about protection watching for danger coming in from outside. The brain is structured such that the right eye is our farsighted eye and the left eye is the near-sighted eye. Which means if we are having a little chat, I will make contact with my left eye to your left eye to make a connection. When we are talking to our children, make contact with the left eye. Looking with the left eye, conveys a softness that is welcoming. If we look into the right eye, it is not so welcoming. Scientifically speaking the right eye lens can’t zero in and make a full, clear picture of who we are seeing while sitting close. If it can’t zero in and see something then we can’t connect with each other. If I want to have a connection with somebody or want to share something important, do left-to-left eye gazing. If I don’t want somebody to connect with me, and just want to be very abrupt /clear and get something done at a corporate event use the right eye to look into.
Viktoria recommends that we do eye gazing with ourself in a mirror, because we want to see what’s going to come up within us. Sit in front of a mirror for 3-5 minutes, and look at the left eye in close proximity. Traditionally speaking, we must do our tantric practices individually. First hone our body, our mind, our energy and our emotions. We need to know how to play our instrument fully and completely before we can come together with another person. When we are ready and comfortable, then do it with a partner.
For more insightful information listen to the Self-Care Goddess podcast episode #33 titled “Open Your Eyes To Light Nutrition”, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Aligning Lifestyle To The Menstrual Cycle
We need to be aware of our menstrual cycle because it plays an important role in the way our sexual energy works. Notice that when we women are approaching menses, we want to have space to emotionally release because most women are holding on to things for the last 21-28 days.
Around our menstrual cycle we become super emotional and sensitive; so if somebody says something we may snap. During this time, we need to come together with other women in events such as the ‘red tent’ gathering where women come together during this time period to vent out all the emotional garbage they’ve been holding on to. We laugh, cry, tell stories together and celebrate this time which is very powerful for us. Viktoria talks about 2 phases in a women’s cycle:
- When our bleed time is approaching and we are releasing all the energy and emotional stuff, it is a good time to make space for new opportunities and new projects. This is a time of seeding what we look forward to doing what we are planning on doing.
- The next two weeks is ovulation. As we’re approaching ovulation, all of a sudden, we are super clear about what we want. We are assertive and know what we are looking forward to enjoying, who we want to get naughty/dirty with and who we want to have playtime with. Because our body is biologically ticking we are open to trying new things as well.
I invite you to listen to episode #18, “Perimenopause 101: 5 Strategies For Your Perimenopausal Symptoms, on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Sexually, we want to know how we intimately connect with a partner or ourself while approaching our menses. During menses, we are looking for cuddle time. It is very important that women need to feel safe within their body and safe with another human being they are connecting with. Do you know why 75% of women don’t orgasm? Because their body has not known what safe is and tantric self-care practices can help establish that safety.
Connect with me and I can guide you on your yoga journey. Watch me demonstrate sun salutations on my YouTube channel.
Check out Viktoria’s non-negotiable self-care habits for balancing hormones. For past podcast guests self-care habits, check out my Instagram or Facebook page.
Take Home Message
If we look through the tantric lens, we must throw out the window, goals and expectations and just leave it up to the situation because the most important thing is the journey not the end game. Just go with the flow of what’s happening. Tantra is much more than its sexual aspect that it’s widely known for. Tantra is a way of living your life more authentically and fully with full connection, and presence. Tantra includes all meditation-based body work, yogic movements centering and focusing on cleansing the mind and the body together.
Listen to the full podcast episode #57 with Viktoria Kalenteris on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
Connect with Viktoria: firstname.lastname@example.org | https://www.playfulloving.com/
Viktoria has a women’s retreat coming up between September 23-25 with an EFT tapping mindful energy shifter. A weekend invitation to women for emotional release and learn tools to rocket as a woman in today’s society. Check out the details here.
I look forward to connecting with you and learning more about your story and your health and wellness goals. Schedule a FREE introduction call here.