Considering we are mid-way into the first month of the new year, use these powerful reflective questions to guide introspection and help you gain clarity on whether you’re ready to embark on the path of designing and creating your best life:
- Have I reached a point where staying in my current situation feels more uncomfortable than taking a leap into the unknown?
- In what ways does my current situation fall short of what I envision for my best life?
- How can I incorporate more of my passions into my daily routine?
- What immediate actions can I take to start moving towards my best life?
On the Self-Care Goddess Podcast episode #100, I dive deep into the intricacies of the human brain and its capacity for change. I explore the challenges posed by the fear of other people’s opinions (FOPO), the transition from performance-based to purpose-driven identity, and how not to engage in FOPO and pursuing a purpose-driven life. I discuss the science of neuroplasticity and how to change unresourceful habitual patterns through Breathnosis- a practice of getting into self-hypnosis through breathing techniques. I share the process of how Breathnosis can help you tap into the transformative power of manifesting your dream life.
I also briefly discuss my upcoming course, Believe & Breathe, on how to use breathwork to help you get into a state of self-hypnosis and increase neuroplasticity to reprogram the negative habits and belief patterns for personal growth and transformation. The course provides practical tools, insights and techniques for individuals to improve their self-image, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals. As well as a supportive community to guide you on your journey towards manifesting the life you envision.
Register here for the course and get on the waiting list.
The following information are just a few of the golden nuggets from my insightful conversation. Listen to the entire episode here.
Stop Worrying About What Other People Think About You
I read an article by Michael Gervais, one of the world’s top high-performance psychologists, in the Harvard Business review, that really struck me as something I should be sharing with you all – the concept of FOPO. In a society dominated by the pursuit of social validation, FOPO – “The Fear Of Other People’s Opinions” becomes a silent force hindering our freedom and stifling our potential. FOPO is not about disregarding opinions but rather an exhaustive attempt that most people succumb to while constantly trying to interpret others’ thoughts, avoiding negative evaluation, and seeking constant approval. The danger lies in the fear of negative opinions, compelling us to play it safe, stifling our potential. Breaking free from this fear is crucial for a more fulfilled life. The fear of other people’s opinions significantly restricts human performance. When we fear being judged or what other people think, the consequences include holding back ideas, biases in organizations, slowing down innovation and the overall exhaustion of managing external perceptions. The discussion on FOPO leads to the exploration of the origins of this fear which is actually rooted in our ancestors’ need for acceptance within their tribes for survival. Our ancient brain is wired for survival, seeking acceptance and fearing rejection. I agree with the author when he argues that must upgrade our mental software to navigate high-stress moments for a more fulfilling life in today’s world.
Would you like to learn 5 Ways to Kick Start Your Self-Care Journey at Home? Listen to the Self-Care Goddess podcast episode #6.
Overcoming concerns about others’ opinions is a common challenge, and various psychological principles can help individuals navigate and manage these concerns. Here are some general pieces of advice:
- Self-Awareness: Understand your values and priorities. Knowing what truly matters to you can help you focus on your own standards rather than external judgments.
- Mindfulness and Presence: Practice mindfulness to stay present in the moment. This can help you detach from unnecessary worry about the past or future opinions of others.
- Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Replace irrational beliefs about what others think with more realistic and positive perspectives.
- Personal Growth: Focus on personal development. When you’re working towards your goals and continuously improving yourself, others’ opinions may become less significant.
- Acceptance: Embrace the idea that not everyone will like or agree with you, and that’s okay. Acceptance of this reality can reduce the emotional impact of others’ opinions.
- Positive Self-Talk: Develop a positive internal dialogue. Be your own supporter rather than your harshest critic.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Establish and maintain boundaries that protect your mental well-being. Recognize when it’s necessary to prioritize your needs and values over external expectations.
- Social Comparison Awareness: Be mindful of the tendency to compare yourself to others. Recognize that everyone is on their unique journey, and external appearances may not reflect internal experiences.
- Seek Constructive Feedback: Encourage constructive criticism from trusted individuals. Constructive feedback can be valuable for personal growth.
- Gratitude Practice: Cultivate gratitude for your strengths and accomplishments. Focusing on what you’ve achieved can build resilience against external judgments.
- Breathing Techniques: Learn ways to optimize each breath so that you can down regulate the nervous system and signal to your brain that you’re not in immediate danger and not trigger a sympathetic nervous system reponse.
Remember, overcoming concerns about others’ opinions is often a gradual process, and it may involve a combination of these strategies. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can also be beneficial in navigating these challenges.
I invite you to listen to my recent podcast with Paul Burges on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast episode #92, “How To Make Health Decisions While Sifting Through Conflicting Internet Information”.
How To Find Your Purpose In Life?
Let’s explore the dichotomy between performance-based and purpose-based identity. Many individuals find their identity tied to performance, constantly comparing themselves to others. This can lead to a crisis, especially in retirement, where performance no longer defines them. Purpose-based identity, on the other hand, involves being part of something larger, contributing to a meaningful cause beyond individual achievements.
Finding your purpose in life is a deeply personal journey that involves self-reflection, exploration, and a willingness to embrace change. Here are some steps and considerations that may help you discover your purpose:
- Self-Reflection: Spend time reflecting on your values, passions, and interests. What activities make you feel most alive and fulfilled? What are the things that truly matter to you?
- Identify Strengths: Recognize your strengths and talents. Consider what comes naturally to you and what activities bring out your best qualities.
- Explore Interests: Try new things and explore different interests. Attend workshops, classes, or events that align with potential areas of interest. This can help you discover new passions.
- Set Goals: Establish short-term and long-term goals. Goals give you a sense of direction and purpose. They can be adjusted as you evolve and discover more about yourself.
- Challenge Comfort Zones: Growth often happens outside of your comfort zone. Embrace challenges and be open to trying things that may initially seem intimidating.
- Ask for Feedback: Seek feedback from friends, family, and colleagues. They may offer insights into your strengths and areas where you excel.
- Volunteer or Give Back: Engage in volunteer work or activities that allow you to contribute to a cause you care about. Helping others can provide a sense of purpose.
- Reflect on Past Experiences: Consider your past experiences, both positive and negative. What have you learned from challenges, and what experiences have brought you the most joy?
- Connect with Mentors: Seek guidance from mentors or role models. Their experiences and advice can offer valuable perspectives as you navigate your own path.
- Consider Impact: Reflect on the impact you want to have on the world. How do you want to contribute to the well-being of others or make a difference in your community?
- Embrace Trial and Error: Understand that finding your purpose may involve trial and error. Be patient with yourself and view each experience as a step toward greater self-discovery.
- Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling. These activities can help you connect with your inner self and gain clarity.
- Professional Guidance: If you’re struggling to find your purpose, consider seeking guidance from a career counselor, life coach, or therapist. They can provide support and tools for self-discovery.
Remember that your purpose may evolve over time, and it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately. The key is to remain open to self-discovery and embrace the journey of finding meaning and fulfillment in your life.
I invite you to read by blog post on Self-Care Goddess Podcast episode #41, “Owning YOUR Sh*t”: How to Live an Authentic & Fulfilling Life”.
Creating Your Dream Life
Manifesting plays a pivotal role in transforming dreams into reality, acting as a powerful catalyst for personal growth and goal attainment. The process of manifesting involves aligning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions with the vision of your desired outcomes, creating a harmonious synergy between the mind and the universe. By focusing on positive intentions and visualizing your aspirations, you not only cultivate a mindset conducive to success but also send out energetic signals that can attract opportunities and resources. Manifesting serves as a motivational force, propelling individuals to overcome challenges and persevere in the pursuit of their dreams. Manifesting your dream life involves a combination of setting clear intentions, maintaining a positive mindset, and taking actionable steps toward your goals.
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How To Surrender to Life’s Flow To Support The Manifestation Process?
Michael Singer wrote an amazing book about his life story called the Surrender experiment. The main theme of the book is that no matter how much our belief system wants to judge if a current situation or event is good or bad we will never really know in the long run how it will impact our life. So many rock bottoms or unfortunate events have created changes in people’s lives for the better. Being open to possibility, to learning and growing, from a place of non-attachment is a powerful perspective to have even though at times it may be very hard.
The book outlines Singer’s experiences in applying the principle of surrender, allowing life to unfold without resistance or attachment to specific outcomes. Here’s a summary of the key concepts:
- The Power of Surrender: Singer advocates for the transformative power of surrender, emphasizing the idea of relinquishing control over life’s circumstances and trusting the unfolding of events.
- Radical Acceptance: The book encourages radical acceptance of whatever arises in life. Instead of resisting or trying to control situations, Singer suggests embracing them with an open heart and mind.
- Following Intuition: Singer shares how he followed his intuition and allowed life to guide him. This involved saying “yes” to unexpected opportunities and challenges, even when they didn’t align with his preconceived plans.
- Embracing Challenges: The author recounts various challenges and opportunities that came his way, including business ventures, relationships, and personal growth experiences. The key was to surrender to these challenges rather than resist them.
- Non-Attachment to Outcomes: Singer emphasizes the importance of maintaining a non-attached stance towards outcomes. By releasing attachment to specific results, individuals can experience greater peace and flow in their lives.
- Trusting the Universe: Trust in the intelligence of the universe is a central theme. Singer suggests that by surrendering to life’s natural course, individuals can tap into a higher wisdom that guides them toward their highest good.
- Expanding Comfort Zones: The book encourages readers to move beyond their comfort zones and embrace opportunities for growth, even if they initially seem challenging or unfamiliar.
- Mindfulness and Witness Consciousness: Singer introduces the concepts of mindfulness and witness consciousness, encouraging individuals to observe their thoughts and emotions without getting entangled in them.
- Inner Freedom: Surrendering to life, according to Singer, leads to inner freedom. This freedom is not contingent on external circumstances but is a result of accepting and embracing whatever comes.
- Spiritual Growth: The Surrender Experiment is presented as a path to spiritual growth and self-realization. By surrendering to life, individuals can align themselves with a higher purpose and experience a profound sense of connection.
“The Surrender Experiment” offers a unique perspective on living a life of surrender and acceptance. It is a blend of personal narrative, spiritual insights, and practical guidance, encouraging readers to explore the benefits of surrendering to the flow of life rather than resisting it.
So consider this: Can you allow things to unfold in your life, and stay present to be aware of the new opportunities as they come? As you shift into a different scenario than you are currently in will some things need to break apart to create room for something new?
Alternate Nostril Breathing is balancing, calming, anti-anxiety, and very relaxing. Would you like me to show you how? Watch my short YouTube video here.
Access The Power Of Neuroplasticity, And Change Your Brain To Change Your Life!
The gift of a living human brain is a present that defies all comprehension.
Neuroplasticity a common buzzword in modern neuroscience and psychology, it’s referred to as the ability of the brain to change throughout life. The promise that is it possible for us to alter or rewire our brains to change thinking behaviours, habits, emotions, and well-being. Refers to our brain’s ability to re-organize itself both physically as well as functionally throughout our life from cradle to the grave.
There are 2 principles of Neuroplasticity:
1. Neurons that fire together wire together.
2. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
We all have a say in what thoughts we choose to think and what emotions we give our attention to. A simple change in your beliefs can have a profound impact on how your brain processes data. On top of your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs You are constantly writing the blueprint of your neural circuitry through your daily routines and rituals. Just imagine what neural connections you will change if you spend your work commute in a state of gratitude instead of a fit of anger and road rage. There are no known limits to how much we can affect the way our brains are wired up. So become the subject of your own life experiment.
- Limit time spent endorsing negative thoughts
- Maximise the volume of positive ones.
- Develop and explore empowering emotional states.
- Stay aware of how your feelings affect your reality.
- Challenge your beliefs and replace any limiting concepts with new values that support your growth.
- Evaluate your daily routine and take action to eliminate any destructive or distracting behavior.
- Start introducing liberating rituals such as meditation and breathwork into your life
- Pursue new experiences
- Free yourself from your past attachments and perceptions and use your imagination to access your highest potential
- Maximise the capacity of your five senses and go beyond the limits of your everyday mind.
For more insightful information listen to the Self-Care Goddess podcast episode #53 titled, “Everything YOU Need To Know About Melatonin: Beyond A Sleep Aid.”
Using Breathnosis to Activate Neuroplasticity and Change the Brain
Self-hypnosis through Breathwork = Breathnosis is a tool to tap into the power of the subconscious mind and influence thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Breathnosis can assist by moving the brainwaves to the appropriate state for neuroplasticity to occur. Breathnosis is effective at influencing neuroplastic change, as focused attention is one of the prerequisites of neuroplasticity. The focused attention that is induces by Breathnosis places the brainwaves in the optimum state for neuroplasticity to occur. Breathnosis encodes new information within the brain using suggestion and tapping into the power of imagination to see, hear, feel and experience the desired therapeutic outcomes of the client wishes to achieve it begins to create new synaptic connections within the physical rain these new synaptic connections can be strengthened through the continued use of self-hypnosis with the practitioner.
Daily Breathnosis or listening to recordings you will begin to take the necessary action to move towards the goal of treatment. As these new synaptic connections within the brain are created and reinforced through Breathnosis new thoughts behaviours, feelings and emotions become more automatic. Because the brain is changed by internal mental rehearsal in the same ways and evolving precisely the same processes that control changes that are achieved through interactions with the external world. Breathnosis is an extremely effective means at creating change. Breathnosis induces the appropriate brainwave state, which influences neuroplasticity. The focused yet alert state of Breathnosis releases the neuro chemicals necessary to enable brain change and neuroplasticity.
Take Home Message
Ok. I need you to pay attention right now and hear out my thought process: You cannot do the same thing and expect different results. That’s the definition of insanity! Rita Mae Brown
In order to live your dream life you need to change your habitual programming. Because the current program that you are running is not in alignment with the vibrational frequency of your dream life. Often happening at the subconscious level our negative habits and beliefs are formed, often as a result of past experiences and societal conditioning. So the idea is to utilize neuroplasticity to facilitate changing these habitual patterns and create new ones. Re-program or maybe unlearn ways of doing you. All this would facilitated by self-hypnosis through breathwork.
We can use breathwork to help us get into a state of self-hypnosis and increase neuroplasticity to reprogram the negative habits and belief patterns for personal growth. During the Breathwork Integration sessions you will be provided with tools like breathwork, meditation, positive affirmations, etc. for reprogramming the subconscious mind and reinforcing a positive self-image.
To delve deeper into the art of manifestation and unlock your full potential, consider joining my manifesting online course. It provides practical tools, insights and techniques for individuals to improve their self-image, overcome obstacles, and achieve their goals. As well as a supportive community to guide you on your journey towards manifesting the life you envision. Embrace the transformative power of manifesting and take the first step toward a future filled with purpose and fulfillment.
Register for the course here and get on the waiting list.
Listen to the full podcast episode #100 on the Self-Care Goddess Podcast.
For free guided meditation videos and Breathwork demonstrations subscribe to my YouTube channel.
I look forward to connecting with you and learning more about your story and your health and wellness goals. Schedule a FREE introduction call here.